Hidden Snake
by Angel Weasel-Woman
Summary: Orochimaru’s base explodes, leaving the Leaf to breathe a sigh of relief. However, when a murderer begins to stalk the streets, the question arises: Where is the hidden snake now?


Betray your friends and your peeps and your family

Livin like a snake Livin like a bloody thief

"Snakes" Papa Roach

* * *

Why the fuck did Naruto have to go and break his goddamned leg? Angel asked whatever god was currently laughing at her. Why did I have to graduate Salutatorian of our class? Why did Tsunade-sama feel the sadistical urge to send _me_ after that bastard? Why the fuck is there _flea_ on my ear! 

She resisted the urge to flick her ear, as any movement would break the weak genjutsu she had draped over her body. She couldn't twitch her ear to tell the flea "fuck off", she couldn't stretch out her leg which was beginning to cramp, hell – she could hardly move her chest to breathe.

It was only through extreme self-control taught from both becoming and ANBU member and hiding from her ninja friends when she switched their shampoo with glue that she managed to keep her eyebrow from twitching as she watched the two guards below her chatter away. Sure they were Oto-nin, but did they have to stand there and make so much useless noise? Fucking _move_ already! she shrieked mentally at the guard who was supposed to have been relieved of duty five minutes ago.

Another two minutes passed before the Chuunin shared a final laugh and the taller vanished past the metal doors. Counting silently to ten in her mind, she broke her illusion with a wide grin.

* * *

Ryou had never liked guard duty. It always made him jumpy and paranoid of every sound, so it was a relief when Midoki stayed behind to share a few jokes with him. All too soon, he figured, the blonde man clapped him on the back and bade him a good evening. So when he entered the main chamber, Ryou folded his arms across his chest and sighed, trying to convey a sense of boredom instead of the true nervousness that was threatening to turn his lunch into shuriken in his stomach. 

Suddenly, there was a creaking of branches from just above him and the glowing grin of the Cheshire Cat appeared in the setting sunlight.

"I vant to thuck your blood," the grin told him in heavily accented English that left him wondering what had been said before a shadow leapt down from the branches and ripped his heart out.

* * *

Angel grunted as she shoved to Oto-nin's body into a hollowed out tree. Nudging the last bit of raw heart out from between her teeth with her tongue and swallowing it, she contemplated wiping her bloody hands and mouth on the ninja's clothing before realizing that would only make her dirtier. Sighing in mock pain, she gave the body a final kick to wedge it in the plant, sprinkled a bit of dirt on the flesh, and leaned into the shadows, feeling her advanced bloodline activate.

* * *

She tiptoed down the halls, desperately avoiding anyone who might recognize the body she was parading around in. She had almost run into that man she had been mentally bitching at, so she had no idea if the alarm on her had been raised. 

Better safe than sorry, she told herself, ducking into the shadows behind a large stack of metal crates and taking back her true form. And better animal than human.

The darkness reacted with her DNA, painfully stripping it apart and recoding it so that light gray and creamy brown fur spread across her body. Her bones silently constricted , shorting and reforming especially in her legs, fingers and jaws. Her senses of hearing and scent sharpened once more and she breathed a bit easier, having come to rely on them more than her own eyesight. Suddenly, the painful transformation was complete and she had to suppress a surge of giggles when she saw her reflection on one of the boxes.

Oh, Kiba's expression had been priceless when he had seen her gnawing on Akamaru's leg to draw the blood necessary for her current form. She could have, however, done without the bone quivering beating that had ensued before she had managed to inform the Inuzuka that his sister had allowed her access to the blood.

A small grin broke out on her puppyish face as she silently and quickly padded down the hallway to the large metal doors with a golden snake insignia draped over them, intricately twisting and curving.

With no soul around to see and the large mass of pulsating chakra ahead informing her of her target's position, she stepped into the darkest part of the hall to relinquish her dog body and resume her own.

Please, Athena, don't let this door electrocute me like the other one did… was her final thought before placing both her hands on the, thankfully non-electric, door and shoving it open to reveal her target and her enemy.

"Sasuke, you little shithead!"

And the snake bastard who started this whole mess.

"What's this? A single… woman, I'm assuming you are."

"Shut the hell up," Angel shrieked in her best "PMS-ing bitch queen" voice. Orochimaru blinked and (was it her imagination?) shrunk back a bit. "And you!" she pointed at the traitorous leaf. "You get your ass in gear and get home."

Glowing crimson eyes stared her down in an icy glare. She felt a bit woozy, but was prepared to show him why "Hell hath no fury like a woman's wrath" when Orochimaru began to laugh.

"Mere threats will get you nowhere." He turned to Sasuke, tongues of violet chakra twisting and leaping from his body. "I'm afraid you'll have to wait a moment, Sasuke-kun. I need to take care of a little rat first."

"I'm a weasel, phallic-face," Angel snorted, lashing her fluffy red tail and extracting a laugh from Orochimaru again.

"Such a foul-mouthed beastling. I'm sure the North gate would have gotten along with you well." He raised his thumb to his mouth, slicing it open with one particularly deadly looking fang. Hitching up his sleeve, he dragged his bloody finger down a tattoo on his forearm. "_K__uchiyose no jutsu_!"

"Mother of fuck!" Angel shrieked, throwing herself out of the way as a snake, long as she was tall, burst from the ground, snapping at her ankles. I am so screwed, she thought desperately, quickly switching with another snake as the first nearly sunk it's fangs into her stomach.

I need… _something_! she thought over the sounds of hissing and laugher when her eyes landed on the stoic Shinobi standing off in the corning, glaring death at her.

"_Teme_!" she suddenly cried, launching herself over the snakes and at Sasuke. Her claw-like nails caught the front of his shirt and she bit his neck roughly as they tumbled into the shadows, her tongue absorbing the DNA from Sasuke's blood as it rushed into her mouth. With the touch of darkness on her flesh, she began to transform, nearly crying out as her tail was sucked into her body and her ears collapsed to form the human shells.

And then her eyes took on the Sharingan. Her head felt like it was about to explode and her eyes hurt so much, as though the advanced skill knew she wasn't of Uchiha blood and was punishing her for mimicking it. Hell, she was surprised she wasn't blinded by the pain that nearly made her eyes bleed.

Instead, everything took on a surreal, reddish haze and time itself seemed to slow. She could see _everything_ in perfect, precise detail – from the number of hairs on Sasuke's head to the exact shape, size, and pattern of grooves on the marble ceiling.

Head over heels they tumbled, thoroughly confusing everyone in the room. Her eyes picked up every detail of Sasuke's stance and her body, after years of perfecting her bloodline skill and the added help of the Sharingan, automatically began to match them.

Both of them shoved themselves to their feet. Both of them took the same fighting stance. Both of them spat, "You bitch."

Orochimaru placed a hand to his forehead and sighed dramatically. He could already feel his soul beginning to detach from his body, but he made damn well and certain that no one else knew. "I guess it's up to me to choose then…"

* * *

Regarding all the random curse words in the beginning: this was written in Sci-fair and I seriously did not want to be there so I was a little frustrated and… yeah... 

Nine: -whines- Why are you here…? I thought you left us…?

Angel: -points and laughs- Haha, I crushed your hopes and dreams!

Nine: I curse you...

Angel: Is everyone still here? -looks around to see varying degrees of hate from muses- Yup. So then, Itachi – say the disclaimer.

Itachi: -quiet- I hate you. -louder- Angel does not own Naruto, every day for which I thank the gods.

Angel: -throws stuff at him- Jerkling! Anyway, till next time!


End file.
